Josef Wigren is a Swedish language lover I have been friends with for more than six years. We have been exchanging ideas and talked about a lot of interesting stuff over the years on a lot of varying subjects including marketing and languages. He lives in Uppsala, Sweden together with his wife and runs his own website http://josefwigren.com and is the co-author of the LingvoStart website. He speaks six languages and is now learning Russian as his seventh.
How language exchange is like tug of war
When you learn a language you will eventually come to the stage where you want to practice what you have learned and start using it in real situations. When you come to this stage, you might start looking for a native speaker of your target language, who is in turn learning your native language. When you do find someone who is willing to practice with you, it can lead to a mutually beneficial language exchange and even good friendship. More about this in a little bit.
When should I start with language exchanges?
Some people will tell you that you should start speaking right away, using what you know and push yourself to gain better understanding through putting yourself out there, while others will tell you that you should first internalize the language, the rhythm, the sounds and gain a lot of vocabulary before you speak. Some even go so far as to say that you shouldn’t speak at all until you have a better understanding of the language you’re learning. Whatever way you choose to go, there will at some point come a time where you need to start speaking, if you want to be able to use the language.
You probably will benefit the most from language exchanges once you reach an intermediate level in your languages (due to being able to express yourself better and being able to understand explanations and replies given in the language), but in my experience, it is good to get speaking practice even from when you are in the early stages of your learning, just to get used to producing the sounds of the language. If you keep putting it off for later, when you know the language better, you might get caught in the trap of understanding a language, but not being able to speak it at all. It’s good to progress your level evenly over the different areas of learning a language, so make sure that you don’t only build up a passive vocabulary. This is where you need practice speaking the language.
Finding a language exchange partner
Finding someone to practice with can be quite difficult, if you are learning a rare or exotic language, but the most difficult thing is to find someone who you enjoy talking with and who can help you with your language learning. There are many websites for getting in contact with people who want to practice languages such as sharedtalk, busuu, and livemocha. There are a lot of them, so you only have to search on Google for language exchange and you will find more sites than you’ll ever be able to go through.
Once you have found a language exchange partner, the initial session is in my opinion the far most important one. That’s where you decide what languages are going to be practiced, and you get to know each other.
Tug of war
When you start talking to each other, it’s usually the one who has the biggest vocabulary or has the most confidence in speaking their target language that sets the common communication language (or the language that you use to talk, most of the time). Of course, you will want to practice your target language and your language exchange partner will want to practice his/her target language. This can lead to a conflict of interests, like a tug of war. Usually the language that you use to communicate between yourselves will be set in the first few sessions, after which it will be a bit more difficult to change the dynamics of your exchange, unless you address the issue directly and talk about it.
So, let’s say that you are learning Hindi, and you meet someone online and start talking. After a while you will have used up much of your vocabulary in the language you are practising and you might fall back on your native language, so that the conversation will have a better flow. Do this, and you will be doing yourself a disservice in the end. Once you start getting more comfortable and get back to your native language, you are on a slippery slope and it will take more energy to get back to the language you want to practice again. It is better to struggle a bit, and taste the sweet taste of victory when you find that you can express yourself in your target language. If you don’t try, you might get stuck talking in your native language with this person for as long as you know him/her.
Solution
There are many ways to deal with this issue, but the best thing you can do is to be prepared for a language exchange and have a clear idea of how it can be the most beneficial for you and what things you need specific help with. Make sure that you know for yourself what it is that you need from the language exchange. Maybe you need to practice some grammar points or want to make sure with a native speaker that you’re using the grammar correctly; this could be a much more fun way to go through grammar exercises. Or maybe you need to practice reading out loud and want to make sure that you are pronouncing things correctly and have the correct speed and intonation for the language. If you really want to work on your pronunciation I would recommend that you record yourself as well when you read out loud, that way you would also be able to tell from listening to yourself where you need to improve. Communicate your needs and expectations to your language exchange partner in the beginning of getting to know each other, and he/she will be able to help you out a lot more as well.
A language exchange can be a great thing and it should be both fun and beneficial for the both of you. Take turns talking in your native language and the language you want to learn, and use a timer, if you want. Make sure that you speak equally much in both languages and make sure that you know what your language exchange partner expects from you as well. That way the exchange will be beneficial for both of you, and you wouldn’t need to feel like it’s unnatural to switch between languages, talk about grammar exercises or just read texts out loud to each other. Just set the guidelines when you get started and you will benefit a lot more from language exchanges. Also, make sure that you update your goals regularly, so that you don’t start feeling too comfortable talking about only one thing, but push your limits as well. You will become more productive and will help your language exchange partner a lot more too!
I would also like to add that if you are feeling adventurous or feel very confident, the best kind of language exchange partner is not a language exchange partner at all, but a friend who doesn’t share any common language with you, except for the language you are learning. That way, you force yourself to stay with the language and you will most definitely get the best kind of practice there is. It is more challenging and especially in the beginning it can be quite tiresome, but it will leave you feeling amazing. (I still remember the first time I talked with a guy from Vietnam who didn’t know any English at all. We were talking about shopping and buying shoes or something like that, something that I’m not interested in at all, but it still made me feel really good about myself, being able to express myself in Vietnamese for the first time.) Just do what you feel you are capable of, and have fun!
Summary
To sum it all up
- Look for a language partner you feel comfortable talking to. There are many websites available to look for people to talk to.
- Make sure you know what it is that you need to improve on in the language.
- Agree on how you will divide your time between your languages and stick to it.
- Stick to the language you are learning even though it’s difficult at times and slows the conversation down, you will thank yourself later for doing it.
- Use a timer to divide your time if it makes you more comfortable.
- Change to more difficult topics when you start getting comfortable at the level you are right now, to push yourself to learn.
- The best language exchange partner is someone who isn’t interested in learning from you, but talking to you naturally (in his/her own language).
- Have fun and enjoy your progress! Savour the moments of breakthrough!
Written by Josef Wigren
About the author: Josef Wigren is a 23 year old guy from Sweden who speaks six languages and apart from having a passion for languages and all forms of learning also has a deep love for science and technology of all kinds.
27 comments
Andreas Moser says:
Jun 27, 2012
I only do language exchanges with attractive girls.
Elizabeth Braun says:
Jun 27, 2012
That’s why I never accept guys as exchange partners – the priority is sex, not language learning!
Dominick says:
Jun 27, 2012
I certainly hope the two comments above were jokes, as they aren’t all that helpful to anybody looking for language partners.
How can sex ever be a priority in a language exchange? You are often thousands of miles away from your language partner, and if you are looking for a language partner I highly doubt your language skills are to a level where you could effectively seduce anybody. While I agree that not every potential exchange partner out there is a good one, limiting your selection pool to just one gender, or a specific set of physical attributes for that matter, is really hurting your chances for finding a good partner and a lasting friendship. I spent months going through exchange partners until I found a select few whose schedules / personalities meshed well with mine (of both genders by the way) and our friendships as well as language proficiencies have both grown immensely.
Hermel Jaworski says:
Jun 27, 2012
thank you for this post, what you say is true. The best language partners are often the ones who contact you first (for instance, after I put several videos on youtube, people responded me to have skype conversations) : they are interested in you and it’s more likely the exchange will last longer. You can meet very interesting people this way !
Josef Wigren says:
Jun 28, 2012
Thank you for your comment! The less people want to learn their target language from you and just want to talk to you, and are willing to do so in your target language, the better the language exchange is for you. It’s sometimes difficult to find people like that, so if you have managed to do that through creating videos on YouTube, great job!
Shannon.Kennedy says:
Jun 27, 2012
I think this is really interesting – and it’s true – finding a proper balance when doing a language exchange is difficult because each person involved wants to develop the language they are learning. I like the idea of using a timer and switching once it goes off.
Great guest post.
Dominick says:
Jun 27, 2012
My language partners and I usually do hour long talks, the first half hour in one language, the second in another. Sometimes we switch it up for fun where we carry on a conversation where we each speak in a different language.
Shannon.Kennedy says:
Jun 27, 2012
That’s quite different than my experience has been. Usually, for me, one person speaks in the language they are learning and the other responds in the language they are developing and corrections are offered when required. But I have noticed that there is quite a bit of switching back and forth.
Josef Wigren says:
Jun 28, 2012
Thank you for your comment!
Pat says:
Jun 27, 2012
I used to speak Italian. Now, I’ve decided to learn Spanish. Most of the time, I understand what people say in both languages. When I read, it’s even easier. But, when I try to speak I confuse them. How do polyglots learn to differentiate two similar languages? What should I do with Italian while I’m learning Spanish? Forget about it? Make efforts to maintain it? Would it be a good thing to find language partners in both languages?
Josef Wigren says:
Jun 28, 2012
Thank you for your question. I can’t answer for all polyglots but my experience has been that when you get into a language it takes on an entirely own entity. Of course, sometimes words slip between the cracks, but the more you focus on the languages separately, it shouldn’t be a problem for you to keep learning both languages at the same time. Italian and Spanish are quite similar in many ways, but there are key differences such as accent, intonation and prosody. I would encourage you to find language partners in both languages and keep maintaining your Italian.
Pat says:
Jun 28, 2012
Thank you. I’ll try to stop worrying about mixing up words.
Fabrice says:
Jun 27, 2012
Hello,
I became fluent in English when I started to talk every day in that languages with colleagues.
So, i entirely agree with the authour about finding partners to practice.
See you
Fabrice
Josef Wigren says:
Jun 28, 2012
Thank you for your comment. It really is important to get the practice in, and if you can do it with people who are interested in helping you improve every single day, then you will learn much faster. Finding good language partners is key to learning to speak fluently.
Solal says:
Jun 28, 2012
Great guest post Josef! I will keep all this in mind in my search of a good Japanese language partner.
What I find amusing is that these principles do not only apply to language partners but also to couples. My German was stronger than my girlfriend’s French when we met so German became our “official language”. Three years later nothing has changed despite her efforts and my coaching to take her French to a better level.
Maybe it is even more difficult in a couple since the thoughts and feelings which need to be expressed require much detail and delicacy. There is little room for pidgin.
Josef Wigren says:
Jun 28, 2012
Thank you for your comment!
It is true that when you have a girlfriend/wife who speaks another language that you want to practice, it becomes even more difficult. You want to be able to communicate your feelings and it feels stilted when you have to try to do it with limited vocabulary and an incomplete grasp of grammar. So in one way, a girlfriend is the worst kind of language partner if you are not advanced enough to keep a sufficiently high level of conversation in the language you are learning, which would not be possible until you are more or less fluent. It becomes even more difficult if you have a third language as your “official language” as you say, or your commonly strongest language.
The same thing happens when you make good friends who speak your target language. If you can’t hold your own with them in the language you are learning, what mostly will happen is that you will end up speaking the language which is the commonly most strong language between yourselves.
When looking for a Japanese language partner, if you are confident enough in your abilities, (this goes for any other language as well) try to find someone who doesn’t speak any of the languages that you speak, other than Japanese. That way, the strongest language will automatically be Japanese.
What you can do to help your girlfriend improve her French is to decide one day per week (or one hour every day) when all of your communication has to be only in French. That will surely boost your girlfriend’s abilities, even though it might feel strange in the beginning.
Ivan says:
Jun 29, 2012
Congratulations with another great post Josef! The issue you brought up in it is exactly what I’ve been mulling over in my mind lately. I feel like I can understand English quite well when spoken at a normal speed, but whenever I try to get into a conversation with a native speaker, everything goes perfectly fine for the first 20-30 minutes. But there comes a point when I find myself stuck desperately looking for a word or expression that would get the meaning across. It’s a weird thing to go through, because I’ve been immersed into the language before and I have succeeded at making to conversation flow. So, the obvious thing to do was to go looking for a language exchange partner. Fairly recently I started using English actively on skype, but the thing is – I ended up feeling a bit tired after each conversation. Moreover, I’ve gotten to point in my French studies where I really want to keep practicing it as well. I’m just afraid that the interference of these 2 languages will slow me down. Any suggestions?
Josef Wigren says:
Jun 29, 2012
Thank you for your comment! As you get better and better in the languages separately, you stand less and less a risk of mixing the languages together, so I don’t think that you should have any problem with practicing and keeping up with both languages. Just keep practicing and you will see that it will start going more and more easily to hold longer conversations as well. Good luck with your languages!
Mae says:
Jul 6, 2012
Good post! I didn’t knew Josef before, that’s also great – it would be nice to get in touch with you! :-)
It is quite difficult to find the proper balance. I like to chat via Skype, where my partners and I first sort out which languages we will be speaking for how long. I don’t mind when someone does not speak a language as well as I do, because I still exercise while listening. The most important thing for me is to have a good rapport with my conversational partner. Otherwise there is no “flow”, no fun, no learning.
Mae says:
Jul 6, 2012
Good post! I didn’t knew Josef before. It would be nice to get in touch with you!
It is quite difficult to find the proper balance. I like to chat via Skype, where my partners and I first sort out which languages we will be speaking for how long. I don’t mind when someone does not speak a language as well as I do, because I still exercise while listening. The most important thing for me is to have a good rapport with my conversational partner. Otherwise there is no ”flow”, no fun, no learning.
Language Learning Blog 4 | 11133333student says:
Sep 16, 2012
[...] It can be found at: http://thepolyglotdream.com/2012/06/27/how-language-exchange-is-like-tug-of-war-guest-post/ [...]
ESL online JOBS says:
Oct 10, 2012
i am also very bed lerning language. my grammer is also very week
Antonio Bonifati says:
Jan 23, 2013
All these language exchange sites are pretty useless. There are too many of them and potential exchanges are thus spread amongst many sites and very difficult to find out.
As far as I know, there is no site that allows an instantaneous communication with language partners. So all these language-exchange sites fail in their primary objective: no one is able to find you a suitable exchange that is online and wants to practice right away.
Zara Chiron says:
Jun 11, 2013
Hi there, it sounds like you have not had the most positive experiences in your language exchanges. Such a shame.
I used language exchange to solidify my French and have been using them in Spain to improve my Spanish. The two sites that I use are free and I exchange instantly and directly with the people that I choose. Most of the people that I exchanged with became (and still are) my friends – after my skills improved it was my way to meet people in France and is already my way to meet like-minded (linguistically speaking) people in Spain.
My only issue is that I receive too many messages (since I am an English speaker and many Spaniards are looking to learn English to increase their chances of getting jobs) and I prefer quality over quantity.
I would truly recommend the two here: http://www.zarachiron.com/2013/05/language-exchange/ I write about them in detail and link to them. Try them out yourself – and good luck!
Ahmed Hossam says:
Feb 9, 2013
Dear All
Hope you are doing well
I need to pratice my english and I can help u in learning Arabic& egyptian Arabic through skyp : kingofthring101
Ahmed Hossam
Quime Harding says:
May 1, 2013
Hey All,
This will certainly help me with my Spanish studies, its so hard to find a good partner sometimes, but never give up!
Benjamin Smith says:
May 1, 2013
I have been trying to organise French lessons for sometime now, but keep putting it off, it’s important to try lots of techniques, some great ideas here!